( Yesterday I became a grandparent for the second time as my son and his wife welcomed their daughter Abigail to the world. Needless to say I'm TOTALLY JACKED about it. So please forgive the personal nature of this post, but what the hell it's my party and I make the rules, lol)
Dear Abbie;
I don’t have the words to express to you, how your arrival into this world filled my heart with joy. I waited for a grandchild from your dad for a loooooooonnnng time. Now that you are finally here, I thought that my perspective of my son and your father might tell you a little bit about him that he might be a bit reluctant to share with you. Your dad is an amazing man, the reason that he probably won’t tell you a lot about himself, is that basically he is a humble man, and doesn’t think that what he has done in his life is anything really extraordinary, but he is wrong for thinking that. In my view he is a very extraordinary man, a man who has overcome obstacles that would have crushed someone without his fortitude. Your dad always deflects any credit given to him for the things he has accomplished. As his father, I can take no credit for how he has forged a life, not just for himself, but for your mother, and now for you. I’m not saying that your mother had no part in this, that is obviously absurd. Without her as his partner in life, this life, that they have made for themselves, would have never happened. While I can’t speak to all of the triumphs and adversities of your mother’s life, I can say honestly, that you have been blessed by a mother who loves and will care for you, no matter what, and who has been a Godsend to your father, helping him to find a balance so that they both could succeed in this family they have started. It certainly hasn’t been an easy path for either of your parents, they have struggled, worked hard, and had faith in each other, and that because of their love for each other, they have and will overcome any obstacles in their way.
As you grow older, learn from your parents. Don’t be afraid to ask them about their struggles and triumphs, of which, in my humble opinion, you are the ultimate triumph. Don’t let your dad off the hook by allowing him to deflect credit for what he has accomplished, and if he refuses to do that, get ahold of me and I will tell you all the things he has had to overcome to be the kind of man he is today. His story is his own, like I said before, I won’t take any credit for his accomplishments. I have always encouraged him, and have always listened and tried to help whenever I could. He turned out to be a resilient, thoughtful, caring person. That is not to say that he is a perfect man, or even that he will be a perfect parent. Your parents will make mistakes, it’s guaranteed, the list of my mistakes as a parent would be a very long one, but despite all of those mistakes, my son ended up to be a man I am very proud of. So be forgiving of your parents, you are their first child, and the first child has a steep learning curve for the parents. Always know that the decisions they make regarding you are done out of their love for you. Don’t begrudge their discipline, instead look inside of your actions to find the reason for theirs. Don’t be afraid to come to them with your problems. No matter what you’ve done, no matter what you are facing, your mom and dad have a wealth of love, experience and knowledge to help you, they will be your number one fans, with your grandmother (call her Nana, she loves that) and I being a close second. Well, maybe a tie with your other grandparents, who I’m sure are just as ecstatic about you as we are. The most valuable asset you have, aside from your mom and dad, is your extended family, you have grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins from two very large families that you can always rely on. Especially your Nana Marie, she is someone who sees through all the crap and will always tell you the truth.
So dear Abigail, welcome to the family, we are an interesting bunch, one that I’m sure will confound you, aggravate you, and amaze you at various times, or even all at the same time. This family of yours has a great story to tell, and now, your story will be added to the collection. I wish you nothing but happiness and success in your life, and always know that you can count on us whenever we’re needed. We all love you very much.